Hiatus
Blogging will cease until at least Tuesday night while I take an extended Labor Day break.
Alaska 2026: Part the Eighth
4 weeks ago
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Bucky Love
I know it's wrong, especially since Wisconsin just beat WV in football, but I have a crush on the badger (read the background - they used to have a live badger but it kept escaping). I love the badger mascot's flat head -- awwwwwww, isn't it sweet? I think I have a soft spot for badgers, which I realize are vicious animals, because of the Frances children's books (e.g. Bedtime for Frances) that were my childhood favorites.
I know it's wrong, especially since Wisconsin just beat WV in football, but I have a crush on the badger (read the background - they used to have a live badger but it kept escaping). I love the badger mascot's flat head -- awwwwwww, isn't it sweet? I think I have a soft spot for badgers, which I realize are vicious animals, because of the Frances children's books (e.g. Bedtime for Frances) that were my childhood favorites.
Friday, August 29, 2003
Pursegate
The Brooklyn Hillbilly often complains that WV women won't go anywhere without their purses. I submit this is more of a female thing than a WV female thing. Anyway, this is what happens when you try to keep WV teens from carrying their purses to class (yes, I read the story and I do know there are other issues, but the purse part intrigues me).
Earlier this week, Jones (the principal) sparred with students during an assembly to announce the purse ban and other new restrictions. Several girls heckled him, asking him whether he expected them to wear tampons behind their ears at school, students said.
And some parents agree and have joined the fracas: "It's ridiculous what's going on," Wiley said. "To tell my daughter she can't carry a purse. That doesn't make sense."
The Brooklyn Hillbilly often complains that WV women won't go anywhere without their purses. I submit this is more of a female thing than a WV female thing. Anyway, this is what happens when you try to keep WV teens from carrying their purses to class (yes, I read the story and I do know there are other issues, but the purse part intrigues me).
Earlier this week, Jones (the principal) sparred with students during an assembly to announce the purse ban and other new restrictions. Several girls heckled him, asking him whether he expected them to wear tampons behind their ears at school, students said.
And some parents agree and have joined the fracas: "It's ridiculous what's going on," Wiley said. "To tell my daughter she can't carry a purse. That doesn't make sense."
Thursday, August 28, 2003
Bath Bake Sale
Need some cookies? Brownies? How about a pie? Oh come on, it's all for a good cause! The town of Bath is considering a yard sale and bake sale to help pay its debt.
'
If they do this and it turns out to be successful, it could become a model for the entire state. Workers' Comp in trouble? CUPCAKES! PEIA going down the tubes? BROWNIES!
Heck, let's make it one big state-wide yard/bake sale. Buckhannon and Upshur County already do a town- or county-wide yard sale. Expand that to the whole state! Perhaps every county could have a food specialty. Mason County Mothman hot wings...Braxton County Monster Burgers...Preston County - well, I think you know - Buckwheat Cakes. People could just drive from county to county eating (and spending $$$) all weekend.
OK, so it's no Cabela's...
Need some cookies? Brownies? How about a pie? Oh come on, it's all for a good cause! The town of Bath is considering a yard sale and bake sale to help pay its debt.
'
If they do this and it turns out to be successful, it could become a model for the entire state. Workers' Comp in trouble? CUPCAKES! PEIA going down the tubes? BROWNIES!
Heck, let's make it one big state-wide yard/bake sale. Buckhannon and Upshur County already do a town- or county-wide yard sale. Expand that to the whole state! Perhaps every county could have a food specialty. Mason County Mothman hot wings...Braxton County Monster Burgers...Preston County - well, I think you know - Buckwheat Cakes. People could just drive from county to county eating (and spending $$$) all weekend.
OK, so it's no Cabela's...
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Today's randomness
* I really like the tone of this column in the Daily Mail.
* James Carville & Terry McAuliffe will be in Charleston for a fundraiser. The Brooklyn Hillbilly and I once attended what we thought was going to be a debate of sorts featuring Carville and his wife, Mary Matlin. What a disappointment. (I hope I'm remembering this correctly, BH) We had envisioned one of the fiery exchanges you'll occasionally see between the two of them on TV, like on Meet the Press. Welllllllll, it turned out to be much more civil. One got up and spoke at the podium, and then the other got up and spoke at the other podium. Oh, it was cool to see two famous people somewhat up-close, but, well, the BH and I had our hearts set on a big cat fight.
* I really like the tone of this column in the Daily Mail.
* James Carville & Terry McAuliffe will be in Charleston for a fundraiser. The Brooklyn Hillbilly and I once attended what we thought was going to be a debate of sorts featuring Carville and his wife, Mary Matlin. What a disappointment. (I hope I'm remembering this correctly, BH) We had envisioned one of the fiery exchanges you'll occasionally see between the two of them on TV, like on Meet the Press. Welllllllll, it turned out to be much more civil. One got up and spoke at the podium, and then the other got up and spoke at the other podium. Oh, it was cool to see two famous people somewhat up-close, but, well, the BH and I had our hearts set on a big cat fight.
Honorable Discharge
If you've been without power for the last couple of hours (entirely possible with the storms passing through), perhaps you didn't hear/see that JL was honorably discharged. Otherwise, I'm sure you've already heard all about it.
*UPDATE*
Thurs., Aug. 28 - IMHO, the best follow-up on this story is in today's Herald Dispatch.
If you've been without power for the last couple of hours (entirely possible with the storms passing through), perhaps you didn't hear/see that JL was honorably discharged. Otherwise, I'm sure you've already heard all about it.
*UPDATE*
Thurs., Aug. 28 - IMHO, the best follow-up on this story is in today's Herald Dispatch.
Tuesday, August 26, 2003
Hillbilly smut update
The Brooklyn Hillbilly is going to be irate to hear this, but, anyway, the Lewisburg couple pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to mail obscene material and conspiracy to use the Internet for the purpose of sale and distribution of obscene material. In case you don't remember, these are the entrepreneurs who were selling (and, if I remember correctly, making) videos of "graphic and sexually explicit scenes of defecation and urination."
* Clarification * The Brooklyn Hillbilly wishes to make it known that while he's very much pro Internet porn and civil rights, he is not necessarily fond of "explicit scenes of defecation and urination."
The Brooklyn Hillbilly is going to be irate to hear this, but, anyway, the Lewisburg couple pleaded guilty to one count of conspiracy to mail obscene material and conspiracy to use the Internet for the purpose of sale and distribution of obscene material. In case you don't remember, these are the entrepreneurs who were selling (and, if I remember correctly, making) videos of "graphic and sexually explicit scenes of defecation and urination."
* Clarification * The Brooklyn Hillbilly wishes to make it known that while he's very much pro Internet porn and civil rights, he is not necessarily fond of "explicit scenes of defecation and urination."
Monday, August 25, 2003
The Daily Mail reported a little over a week ago that it might happen, but now it's official: former news anchor Natalie Tennant has thrown her (coonskin) hat in the race for Secretary of State (thanks to Google for locating that dandy image).
I don't know NT, besides having watched her do the news. Still, it excites me that someone new is entering politics. So often the elections in WV seem to me to be just a reshuffling of life-long politicians -- Mr. A goes from the house of delegates to the senate, Mr. B goes from Senate to auditor, Ms. C goes from state legislature to congress, etc.
Another interesting part of her run for Sec. of State is that she should have name recognition in both the northern and southern parts of the state. Often, candidates are known solely in either the north or the south, but not both. NT has to her advantage working on the WCHS morning show (based in Charleston) for several years, plus she worked at WBOY in Clarksburg for the last year and is a Marion County native. Very interesting.
No word on whether she'll be wearing buckskin and firing a musket at campaign rallies.
I don't know NT, besides having watched her do the news. Still, it excites me that someone new is entering politics. So often the elections in WV seem to me to be just a reshuffling of life-long politicians -- Mr. A goes from the house of delegates to the senate, Mr. B goes from Senate to auditor, Ms. C goes from state legislature to congress, etc.
Another interesting part of her run for Sec. of State is that she should have name recognition in both the northern and southern parts of the state. Often, candidates are known solely in either the north or the south, but not both. NT has to her advantage working on the WCHS morning show (based in Charleston) for several years, plus she worked at WBOY in Clarksburg for the last year and is a Marion County native. Very interesting.
No word on whether she'll be wearing buckskin and firing a musket at campaign rallies.
Sunday, August 24, 2003
Bootylicious
This has nothing to do with WV, but I can't let this monumental day for the English language pass without comment. The Oxford English Dictionary has added a host of lovely words, such as bootylicious, bada bing, one-hit-wonder, blonde moment, popstrels, loved-up, bupkis, culturati, glamazon, and hacktivists. I can honestly say I've never uttered any of these words.
This article includes the following:
Cultural historian professor Peter Stead of the University of Glamorgan accused the dictionary's editors of resorting to "gimmicks" to compete with rivals like Collins....He said, "There is fierce competition between the dictionaries now and I think they look for gimmicks in order to get the headlines..."
Like bootylicious.
Here's another article on the new words in USA Today. And this one has a little to say about apostrophes and hyphens (or should that be apostrophe's and hyphen's? -- hehe)
This has nothing to do with WV, but I can't let this monumental day for the English language pass without comment. The Oxford English Dictionary has added a host of lovely words, such as bootylicious, bada bing, one-hit-wonder, blonde moment, popstrels, loved-up, bupkis, culturati, glamazon, and hacktivists. I can honestly say I've never uttered any of these words.
This article includes the following:
Cultural historian professor Peter Stead of the University of Glamorgan accused the dictionary's editors of resorting to "gimmicks" to compete with rivals like Collins....He said, "There is fierce competition between the dictionaries now and I think they look for gimmicks in order to get the headlines..."
Like bootylicious.
Here's another article on the new words in USA Today. And this one has a little to say about apostrophes and hyphens (or should that be apostrophe's and hyphen's? -- hehe)
Some perspectives on carrying wads of cash in WV
Bob writes to explain why someone in southern West Virginia might not have confidence in banks -- The First National Bank of Keystone (see here and numerous other documents). OK, you've got me there. As a northerner, I admit Keystone's demise is not something I think of often.
Other good points Bob made: yard sales and flea markets don't take cash, and there's no paper trail with cash transactions so they're normally untaxed. "Maybe you lose your pants once in a while, that's better than losing every year on April 15th." (hehe...that's a great line)
Bob writes to explain why someone in southern West Virginia might not have confidence in banks -- The First National Bank of Keystone (see here and numerous other documents). OK, you've got me there. As a northerner, I admit Keystone's demise is not something I think of often.
Other good points Bob made: yard sales and flea markets don't take cash, and there's no paper trail with cash transactions so they're normally untaxed. "Maybe you lose your pants once in a while, that's better than losing every year on April 15th." (hehe...that's a great line)
OK...let's see if it works tonight. Here's what I was TRYING to post Friday:
Wow - a big thank you to Amy who sent me not just and e-mail, but actual images! Thank goodness, because I've had a nasty headache all day and wasn't feeling very creative. Here's what she writes:
Realizing that your coverage of the coverage of Jessica Lynch's return may be over, may I offer the Latino angle? One of our local Spanish-language weekly newspapers announced "Female Rescued in Iraq Falls into the Arms of an Hispanic" and "Hispanic Sergeant Captures Jessica Lynch's Heart."
To think that if she had returned home with a non-Latino boyfriend, D.C.'s Hispanic population might never have known she was back in Virginia Occidental.
Wow - a big thank you to Amy who sent me not just and e-mail, but actual images! Thank goodness, because I've had a nasty headache all day and wasn't feeling very creative. Here's what she writes:
Realizing that your coverage of the coverage of Jessica Lynch's return may be over, may I offer the Latino angle? One of our local Spanish-language weekly newspapers announced "Female Rescued in Iraq Falls into the Arms of an Hispanic" and "Hispanic Sergeant Captures Jessica Lynch's Heart."
To think that if she had returned home with a non-Latino boyfriend, D.C.'s Hispanic population might never have known she was back in Virginia Occidental.
Friday, August 22, 2003
So I was wrong about the local media losing interest in the sniper story (e.g. this story in USA Today).
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Another hillbilly with a load of cash
OK, this is part three in the series of stories about West Virginians carrying around loads of cash. First was the guy in Williamstown with thousands in cash stowed in the trunk of his car. Then there was Mr. Powerball and his Pink Pony incident. And now there's this guy who had $7,600 in his PANTS, and, as the luck of cash-laden hillbillies goes, his pants were stolen.
Here's what the AP story (NOT a permalink) said:
Someone apparently slipped into (Bascam) Horn's home through and unlocked door and stole the loot while the Bradshaw man was sleeping.
Horn says he had about 76-hundred dollars in cash in the pocket of the pants -- which he had hung on a chair when he went to bed at about 10 pm Tuesday night.
In the version of the story I linked to above, the 86-year-old man, in a direct quote, twice refers to his pants as his "britches." Not that there's anything wrong with that.
*UPDATE*
Pants thief!
More on the pants theft story. I swear I'm not making this up:
Theft of pants is not uncommon in the area, said McDowell County Commissioner Burl Laxton.
"That happens around here all the time," Laxton said this morning. "I'm not pulling your leg. There was a guy who lived right below him who had his pants stolen, too. Somebody's a pants stealer."
Laxton recommended citizens exercise common sense precautions to protect their pants.
Um, if people are carrying around $7,600 in cash, can you really blame the pants thief/thieves??
*UPDATE #2*
The Brooklyn Hillbilly sends the following comments on the subject:
Bascom Horn??!! Burl Laxton ???!! Holy s*** --- we are apparently, for real, trapped in a Faulker novel - or Flannery O'Connor/Eudora Welty. Where are these yahoos getting all that money?? Why don't they put it in a bank? or safe? or, sweet f***, under a mattress? --- It would seem so physically inconvenient to have $7,600 dollars in one's pocket -- I mean, that's 76 $100 bills - that's quite a wad right there.
OK, this is part three in the series of stories about West Virginians carrying around loads of cash. First was the guy in Williamstown with thousands in cash stowed in the trunk of his car. Then there was Mr. Powerball and his Pink Pony incident. And now there's this guy who had $7,600 in his PANTS, and, as the luck of cash-laden hillbillies goes, his pants were stolen.
Here's what the AP story (NOT a permalink) said:
Someone apparently slipped into (Bascam) Horn's home through and unlocked door and stole the loot while the Bradshaw man was sleeping.
Horn says he had about 76-hundred dollars in cash in the pocket of the pants -- which he had hung on a chair when he went to bed at about 10 pm Tuesday night.
In the version of the story I linked to above, the 86-year-old man, in a direct quote, twice refers to his pants as his "britches." Not that there's anything wrong with that.
*UPDATE*
Pants thief!
More on the pants theft story. I swear I'm not making this up:
Theft of pants is not uncommon in the area, said McDowell County Commissioner Burl Laxton.
"That happens around here all the time," Laxton said this morning. "I'm not pulling your leg. There was a guy who lived right below him who had his pants stolen, too. Somebody's a pants stealer."
Laxton recommended citizens exercise common sense precautions to protect their pants.
Um, if people are carrying around $7,600 in cash, can you really blame the pants thief/thieves??
*UPDATE #2*
The Brooklyn Hillbilly sends the following comments on the subject:
Bascom Horn??!! Burl Laxton ???!! Holy s*** --- we are apparently, for real, trapped in a Faulker novel - or Flannery O'Connor/Eudora Welty. Where are these yahoos getting all that money?? Why don't they put it in a bank? or safe? or, sweet f***, under a mattress? --- It would seem so physically inconvenient to have $7,600 dollars in one's pocket -- I mean, that's 76 $100 bills - that's quite a wad right there.
Obits
Michelle wrote to point out an obit that was in the Dominion Post yesterday. This is the first time I've ever seen the general time of death mentioned (I think).
The first line included: "...died with great dignity just before midnight." As Michelle notes, the rest of the obit is actually quite nice and well-written.
Michelle wrote to point out an obit that was in the Dominion Post yesterday. This is the first time I've ever seen the general time of death mentioned (I think).
The first line included: "...died with great dignity just before midnight." As Michelle notes, the rest of the obit is actually quite nice and well-written.
Darn hillbillies and all their trucks -n- guns
BAHHHH! Now the AP starts with the "oh, all those rednecks are gun-toting pick-up drivers" bit.
Sniper Hunt Hindered by W. Virginia's Penchant for Rifles, Pickups
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Rifles and pickups go together in West Virginia, so finding a sniper suspect driving a flatbed Ford in the hills and valleys around the capital is a difficult task -- at best.
Sure, it definitely would be easier to find the sniper if no one else in the whole state had a pick-up truck or a gun, but in how many states would that be possible? I think there are quite a few states where there are a lot of pick-ups.
Kanawha County Sheriff's Deputy: "It would have been more beneficial to us if it had been an uncommon weapon and an uncommon vehicle."
Hmmm, maybe a guy with a tar arn (tire iron) driving a purple Hummer? Oh dear, I'm starting to get ideas for a new version of Clue. (It was Billie Bob with a tar arn in the lieberry (library)!)
BAHHHH! Now the AP starts with the "oh, all those rednecks are gun-toting pick-up drivers" bit.
Sniper Hunt Hindered by W. Virginia's Penchant for Rifles, Pickups
CHARLESTON, W.Va. — Rifles and pickups go together in West Virginia, so finding a sniper suspect driving a flatbed Ford in the hills and valleys around the capital is a difficult task -- at best.
Sure, it definitely would be easier to find the sniper if no one else in the whole state had a pick-up truck or a gun, but in how many states would that be possible? I think there are quite a few states where there are a lot of pick-ups.
Kanawha County Sheriff's Deputy: "It would have been more beneficial to us if it had been an uncommon weapon and an uncommon vehicle."
Hmmm, maybe a guy with a tar arn (tire iron) driving a purple Hummer? Oh dear, I'm starting to get ideas for a new version of Clue. (It was Billie Bob with a tar arn in the lieberry (library)!)
Amy sent me a good article in the Washington Post today. It's about West Virginia and the recent stories we've had in the media (from Lynch & the Wise-Macia affair to the current sniper issue).
Lynchlines
JL's every move is still under close scrutiny. I'd really hate if all of my medical appointments merited AP coverage.
Another AP story released today told the tale of a NY couple who met JL during the sightseeing tour of Palestine:
George Deno tells the Plattsburgh Press-Republican that he drove right up to the home of Lynch's parents, who had sent away the police security detail.
Lynch's father Gregory came out and invited the Denos inside to meet Jessica, who was sitting in a wheelchair.
The Denos posed for pictures with her, and later the retired dairy farmers sent the Lynches a box with maple syrups, maple candy, jams and T-shirts from the family's upstate restaurant."
So now that this story is circulated everywhere, and everyone will know that the "security detail" has been sent away. That's just great. Way to go, George. And nice job giving every nimrod in the world the idea of driving up the yard. I hope there's some kind of security still lingering in the area.
Here's the story in the Plattsburgh paper.
A few highlights:
In fact, he said, laughing, the road curves back upon itself so much, you almost expect to meet yourself somewhere along the way.
Oh wahhhh.
(about the road to the Lynch house) "Once in a while, there was a little spot where you could pull over if you met another car," said Carolyn, who begged George to turn back, terrified they’d fall off the side of the mountain.
OK, you guys should never, EVER try to drive up to Spruce Knob. I think you need to just stick to the interstates.
JL's every move is still under close scrutiny. I'd really hate if all of my medical appointments merited AP coverage.
Another AP story released today told the tale of a NY couple who met JL during the sightseeing tour of Palestine:
George Deno tells the Plattsburgh Press-Republican that he drove right up to the home of Lynch's parents, who had sent away the police security detail.
Lynch's father Gregory came out and invited the Denos inside to meet Jessica, who was sitting in a wheelchair.
The Denos posed for pictures with her, and later the retired dairy farmers sent the Lynches a box with maple syrups, maple candy, jams and T-shirts from the family's upstate restaurant."
So now that this story is circulated everywhere, and everyone will know that the "security detail" has been sent away. That's just great. Way to go, George. And nice job giving every nimrod in the world the idea of driving up the yard. I hope there's some kind of security still lingering in the area.
Here's the story in the Plattsburgh paper.
A few highlights:
In fact, he said, laughing, the road curves back upon itself so much, you almost expect to meet yourself somewhere along the way.
Oh wahhhh.
(about the road to the Lynch house) "Once in a while, there was a little spot where you could pull over if you met another car," said Carolyn, who begged George to turn back, terrified they’d fall off the side of the mountain.
OK, you guys should never, EVER try to drive up to Spruce Knob. I think you need to just stick to the interstates.
Wednesday, August 20, 2003
Peacefully answering the Master's call
OK, maybe I shouldn't complain so much about WV obituaries. Amy in VA sent me a link to today's obits on The Daily Press (Hampton, VA) Web site. Please, please do tell anyone in WV these death euphemisms that appear there:
"passed on to glory"
"answered the Master's call peacefully"
"entered into Jesus' loving arms"
OK, maybe I shouldn't complain so much about WV obituaries. Amy in VA sent me a link to today's obits on The Daily Press (Hampton, VA) Web site. Please, please do tell anyone in WV these death euphemisms that appear there:
"passed on to glory"
"answered the Master's call peacefully"
"entered into Jesus' loving arms"
The not-so-random sniper
OK, so now they're saying at least two of the sniper killings weren't random. And they're exploring a link to drugs -- some sort of link. I think this will end the national media interest. It was a "sexy" story when the killings seemed random and "just like the DC sniper." But killings or even drug related killings -- well, that's just too run of the mill to keep MSNBC and FoxNews in Charleston indefinitely. Just my guess.
OK, so now they're saying at least two of the sniper killings weren't random. And they're exploring a link to drugs -- some sort of link. I think this will end the national media interest. It was a "sexy" story when the killings seemed random and "just like the DC sniper." But killings or even drug related killings -- well, that's just too run of the mill to keep MSNBC and FoxNews in Charleston indefinitely. Just my guess.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
Today's sniper snippets
Back in the good old days, we hanged our mass murderers (and hiked uphill through waist-deep snow both to and from school)
In his daily commentary posted on the MetroNews site, Hoppy Kercheval gives a little history about WV mass murderers. Very interesting stuff.
And then there were 10
The AP is reporting that authorities have narrowed the tips to 10 solid leads, and they're exploring a link to the sale and use of drugs in the Campbells Creek area. A resident is quoted as saying: "Pills and meth and the hard stuff has swept through here just over the last couple of years."
But you're still selling ammo, right?
I suppose it's a nice gesture, but is it really going to help anyone that the Nitro and South Charleston Wal-Marts have pulled the "sniper-style video games" Halo and Grand Theft Auto Vice City from the shelves?
If they wanted to perform a real public service, they would take the plus-size cartoon t-shirts out of their inventory. As an almost-lifelong plus-sized person, I can honestly say I've not once considered it a wise, girth-conscious move to don a t-shirt bearing a giant image of Tweety Bird. Moreover, I found it insulting that someone thought I might want to wear a larger-than-life image of Tweety or Taz. Ugh -- don't even get me started on plus-size clothing.
(Note - should that be plus-size or plus-sized? I'm counting on grammar consultant Chris in DE to let me know.)
Back in the good old days, we hanged our mass murderers (and hiked uphill through waist-deep snow both to and from school)
In his daily commentary posted on the MetroNews site, Hoppy Kercheval gives a little history about WV mass murderers. Very interesting stuff.
And then there were 10
The AP is reporting that authorities have narrowed the tips to 10 solid leads, and they're exploring a link to the sale and use of drugs in the Campbells Creek area. A resident is quoted as saying: "Pills and meth and the hard stuff has swept through here just over the last couple of years."
But you're still selling ammo, right?
I suppose it's a nice gesture, but is it really going to help anyone that the Nitro and South Charleston Wal-Marts have pulled the "sniper-style video games" Halo and Grand Theft Auto Vice City from the shelves?
If they wanted to perform a real public service, they would take the plus-size cartoon t-shirts out of their inventory. As an almost-lifelong plus-sized person, I can honestly say I've not once considered it a wise, girth-conscious move to don a t-shirt bearing a giant image of Tweety Bird. Moreover, I found it insulting that someone thought I might want to wear a larger-than-life image of Tweety or Taz. Ugh -- don't even get me started on plus-size clothing.
(Note - should that be plus-size or plus-sized? I'm counting on grammar consultant Chris in DE to let me know.)
Monday, August 18, 2003
Sniper snippets
Since imasniper@hotmail was already taken...
OK, the Brooklyn Hillbilly thought of that one, the imasniper thing. Honestly, though, what kind of image does it project when authorities ask the sniper (or the driver of the mysterious truck) to e-mail them at a hotmail account? Of course, now I can't even find the AP story I saw earlier today that listed the hotmail account. Perhaps someone had an epiphany and figured out the hotmail account wasn't quite the image they wished to project. Or maybe the stupid account is already so full of spam it's temporarily locked. (*UPDATE* - Ah ha! Here's a story where the e-mail address is used.)
Hmmm, what shall we name the sniper?
The Alpbilly asked if the sniper had a name. I told him generally such criminals are named according to locale (e.g. The Sunnyside Rapist and The DC Sniper). Then I started thinking...hmmm...here in West Virginia we do have a rich tradition of naming things after esteemed political leaders, so, maybe we should follow that. You know what I'm thinking, don't you? The R.C.B. Serial Sniper. Oh, come on, it has a nice ring to it. He already has a high school, federal courthouse, highway system, library, health sciences center, telescope, etc. (the list goes on and on) bearing his name -- why not a criminal who's grabbing national headlines?
Jesus loves the sniper, too
Great. I'm so glad this image is being sent all over the world. Here's the text of the sign (click on above link for picture): H E Y S N I P E R Jesus luvs U 2 Repent and turn yourself in. The Brooklyn Hillbilly wonders if that means Jesus loves the rock band U2 -- er, I mean, LUVS.
Only a yocal could know them thar roads
Michelle evaluates the CNN coverage of the sniper case (scroll down to update).
Since imasniper@hotmail was already taken...
OK, the Brooklyn Hillbilly thought of that one, the imasniper thing. Honestly, though, what kind of image does it project when authorities ask the sniper (or the driver of the mysterious truck) to e-mail them at a hotmail account? Of course, now I can't even find the AP story I saw earlier today that listed the hotmail account. Perhaps someone had an epiphany and figured out the hotmail account wasn't quite the image they wished to project. Or maybe the stupid account is already so full of spam it's temporarily locked. (*UPDATE* - Ah ha! Here's a story where the e-mail address is used.)
Hmmm, what shall we name the sniper?
The Alpbilly asked if the sniper had a name. I told him generally such criminals are named according to locale (e.g. The Sunnyside Rapist and The DC Sniper). Then I started thinking...hmmm...here in West Virginia we do have a rich tradition of naming things after esteemed political leaders, so, maybe we should follow that. You know what I'm thinking, don't you? The R.C.B. Serial Sniper. Oh, come on, it has a nice ring to it. He already has a high school, federal courthouse, highway system, library, health sciences center, telescope, etc. (the list goes on and on) bearing his name -- why not a criminal who's grabbing national headlines?
Jesus loves the sniper, too
Great. I'm so glad this image is being sent all over the world. Here's the text of the sign (click on above link for picture): H E Y S N I P E R Jesus luvs U 2 Repent and turn yourself in. The Brooklyn Hillbilly wonders if that means Jesus loves the rock band U2 -- er, I mean, LUVS.
Only a yocal could know them thar roads
Michelle evaluates the CNN coverage of the sniper case (scroll down to update).
Sunday, August 17, 2003
More manglings
Thursday, Aug. 21
Who knew this topic would strike such a nerve?
* The Brooklyn Hillbilly sends the following mispronunciations that he can't believe he didn't think of earlier:
prostrate (prostate)
lieberry (library)
physical (fiscal)
depuddy (deputy)
seckatary (secretary)
* Regarding Amy's point about stressing the first syllable of INsurance, the Brooklyn Hillbilly confesses he does this all the time. the
"Emphasis on the first syllable is, apparently, very Appalachian." -- e.g. ADDress, THEater, DEfense
* Chris from DE submits this sentence which combines his "to be" annoyance with my "warsh" and the Brooklyn Hillbilly's "ort":
Dat car ort warshed.
* And my own addition:
fee-uxed (fixed) -- Heard this one tonight in a store. One cashier was asking another if she'd gotten her cash register feeuxed.
Tuesday, Aug. 19
Amy from VA, who resided in WV for several years, writes to say ohl (oil) is her favorite mispronunciation. She also notes the pronunciation of insurance with the emphasis on the IN. Oh yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.
And that remind me of another gripe: the insertion of "the" before nouns that don't traditionally have "the" in front of them. For example, one might say "She has the cancer" instead of "She has cancer." Omitting the "the" in front of words that customarily have "the" in front of them -- e.g. the Internet -- also irks me.
The Brooklyn Hillbilly adds this to the list:
ort (ought) -- As an example, he builds on the sentence Chris sent yesterday and my previously stated favorite warsh (wash): "You ort ta warsh that car."
Monday, Aug. 18
Chris from DE (formerly a WV resident) adds:
Gwan Up-air (go on up there)
He also writes this:
My all time favorite is the tendency of people there to remove the words "to be" from the English language as in:
Car needs washed
Porch needs painted
Ugh, that's the one that drives me bonkers!"
Um, uh oh, I think I've been guilty of that. It's merely word conservation -- yeah, that's it. ;)
Diane sent me a long list of "barn technology" terms. Here are some of my favorites:
FAX - what you lie about to the IRS
MODEM - what you did when the grass and weeds got too tall
SERIAL PORT - a red wine you drink with breakfast
HARD COPY - picture looked at when selecting tattoos
Sunday, Aug. 17
As I was driving through one heck of a thunderstorm in the greater Ellenboro-Pennsboro metro area Friday night, I thought of another one -- warsh (wash). And if you warsh something, you must, of course, wrench (rinse) it. Bwahhhh! I have heard people say warsh, but I can't remember if I've actually heard someone say wrench for rinse, or maybe I only remember my mother complaining about someone saying it that way. You see, this low tolerance for mispronunciations is a genetic thing.
Grace, originally from Nitro, writes to tell me of an experience she had at a Wendy's in southern WV, during which the employee mistakenly gave her French dressing instead of Ranch. When Grace pointed out the error, the employee said, "Oh, I thought you said Franch."
Tom sent me the following:
craysh (crash)
hee-yur (here)
fiddy (fifty) (*note* - This one really gripes me. "That'll be two-fiddy-three with tax." --mwahhhh!!!!)
pitcher (picture)
Ray adds some East Texas/Louisiana specialties. This will please Dennis who e-mailed me complaining that I was picking on West Virginians ;). Among those Ray's posted on his site are:
Batry (Battery)
Clum (climbed)
Cyore (To cure)
Puore (Pure)
Friday, Aug. 15
Michelle, also a West Virginia resident, writes to add:
MEE-ulk (Milk)
Ack - my eyes squint and teeth clinch just imagining that one. Here's what she has to say on the subject at her site.
Dawn sent her submission for the best mangling of an English word:
Hurkin (Hurricane)
Oh yes, that is a good one, and when you live in WV you hear that word a lot (because of the town of Hurricane in Putnam County).
Note - Here's my original post on this topic.
Thursday, Aug. 21
Who knew this topic would strike such a nerve?
* The Brooklyn Hillbilly sends the following mispronunciations that he can't believe he didn't think of earlier:
prostrate (prostate)
lieberry (library)
physical (fiscal)
depuddy (deputy)
seckatary (secretary)
* Regarding Amy's point about stressing the first syllable of INsurance, the Brooklyn Hillbilly confesses he does this all the time. the
"Emphasis on the first syllable is, apparently, very Appalachian." -- e.g. ADDress, THEater, DEfense
* Chris from DE submits this sentence which combines his "to be" annoyance with my "warsh" and the Brooklyn Hillbilly's "ort":
Dat car ort warshed.
* And my own addition:
fee-uxed (fixed) -- Heard this one tonight in a store. One cashier was asking another if she'd gotten her cash register feeuxed.
Tuesday, Aug. 19
Amy from VA, who resided in WV for several years, writes to say ohl (oil) is her favorite mispronunciation. She also notes the pronunciation of insurance with the emphasis on the IN. Oh yes, I know exactly what you're talking about.
And that remind me of another gripe: the insertion of "the" before nouns that don't traditionally have "the" in front of them. For example, one might say "She has the cancer" instead of "She has cancer." Omitting the "the" in front of words that customarily have "the" in front of them -- e.g. the Internet -- also irks me.
The Brooklyn Hillbilly adds this to the list:
ort (ought) -- As an example, he builds on the sentence Chris sent yesterday and my previously stated favorite warsh (wash): "You ort ta warsh that car."
Monday, Aug. 18
Chris from DE (formerly a WV resident) adds:
Gwan Up-air (go on up there)
He also writes this:
My all time favorite is the tendency of people there to remove the words "to be" from the English language as in:
Car needs washed
Porch needs painted
Ugh, that's the one that drives me bonkers!"
Um, uh oh, I think I've been guilty of that. It's merely word conservation -- yeah, that's it. ;)
Diane sent me a long list of "barn technology" terms. Here are some of my favorites:
FAX - what you lie about to the IRS
MODEM - what you did when the grass and weeds got too tall
SERIAL PORT - a red wine you drink with breakfast
HARD COPY - picture looked at when selecting tattoos
Sunday, Aug. 17
As I was driving through one heck of a thunderstorm in the greater Ellenboro-Pennsboro metro area Friday night, I thought of another one -- warsh (wash). And if you warsh something, you must, of course, wrench (rinse) it. Bwahhhh! I have heard people say warsh, but I can't remember if I've actually heard someone say wrench for rinse, or maybe I only remember my mother complaining about someone saying it that way. You see, this low tolerance for mispronunciations is a genetic thing.
Grace, originally from Nitro, writes to tell me of an experience she had at a Wendy's in southern WV, during which the employee mistakenly gave her French dressing instead of Ranch. When Grace pointed out the error, the employee said, "Oh, I thought you said Franch."
Tom sent me the following:
craysh (crash)
hee-yur (here)
fiddy (fifty) (*note* - This one really gripes me. "That'll be two-fiddy-three with tax." --mwahhhh!!!!)
pitcher (picture)
Ray adds some East Texas/Louisiana specialties. This will please Dennis who e-mailed me complaining that I was picking on West Virginians ;). Among those Ray's posted on his site are:
Batry (Battery)
Clum (climbed)
Cyore (To cure)
Puore (Pure)
Friday, Aug. 15
Michelle, also a West Virginia resident, writes to add:
MEE-ulk (Milk)
Ack - my eyes squint and teeth clinch just imagining that one. Here's what she has to say on the subject at her site.
Dawn sent her submission for the best mangling of an English word:
Hurkin (Hurricane)
Oh yes, that is a good one, and when you live in WV you hear that word a lot (because of the town of Hurricane in Putnam County).
Note - Here's my original post on this topic.
Friday, August 15, 2003
Sniper-style shootings in Kanawha County
Yes, it seems we have our own sniper roaming around. (Link via Balloon Juice)
Here (and here) is what the Daily Mail has to say.
Yes, it seems we have our own sniper roaming around. (Link via Balloon Juice)
Here (and here) is what the Daily Mail has to say.
Thursday, August 14, 2003
For those of you playing West Nile bingo, infected birds have been found in the following WV counties (according to the AP): Barbour, Cabell, Greenbrier, Jefferson, Kanawha, Morgan, Ohio, Wayne, Webster, Wetzel and Wyoming. If you have those counties on your bingo card, please place a dead crow over each one.
Fits of irrational hillbilly rage
I'm having one of those days when simple, petty, non-threatening things are completely driving me over the fricking edge. (good thing I'm not in NYC)
What's really grating on my hillbilly nerves today? BWAHHHHHHHH! I'm going to strangle the next person who mispronounces the word "bill." It's one damn syllable, with one lone vowel. Sweet mother of God, what is so difficult about that? Why make it into a two or three syllable word? BEE-ULL. Or worse, "BEE-EE-ULL."
The same goes for the word fish. The other night I was strolling through Wal-Mart when a woman announced over the intercom, "The associate in pets - a customer needs help by the FEESH tanks." BAHHHHHH! And, of course, in her thoroughness, she repeated the page twice, clearly saying FEESH both times. What do you want to bet this same person says CRICK instead of creek? WHAT IS SO BLOODY HARD ABOUT THE SHORT 'I' SOUND?!
Meanwhile, the nose of someone I have to see every day is really annoying me. There's nothing really peculiar about the nose -- it's not too big, not too small. You'd look at it and never notice it. But dear Lord, there's something about the way it turns up ever-so-slightly that irks the living hell out of me. I know there's nothing the person can do about it (nor should s/he necessarily); and I know it's purely evil to even allow such a think to bother me, but...but...my blood pressure is still rising...bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Earlier today, before lines of communication were lost, I confided in the Brooklyn Hillbilly about these irksome items. He said my thing with the nose reminded him of an Edgar Allen Poe story in which someone hacks up his neighbor because the neighbor's eye annoys him. Oh, this person with the nose is safe. I'm not going to launch into a homicidal rage -- mine's strictly an internal rage.
The Brooklyn Hillbilly reminded me of our teacher who talked frequently about "bony feesh," and he added that one of his college professors nearly drove him mad saying "twiced."
He proposed a contest to determine the "best English word corrupted by a hillbilly" and sent the following as his submissions:
var-us (virus)
tar (tire)
far (fire)
tar arn (tire iron)
quar-practer (chiroprator)
Bickley (Beckley)
Oak Heel (Oak Hill)
Par-keys-burg (Parkersburg)
Line (lion)
Line (lying)
*UPDATE*
Dawn sent her submission for the best mangling of an English word:
Hurkin (Hurricane)
Michelle adds:
MEE-ulk (Milk)
Follow-up posts on this subject
I'm having one of those days when simple, petty, non-threatening things are completely driving me over the fricking edge. (good thing I'm not in NYC)
What's really grating on my hillbilly nerves today? BWAHHHHHHHH! I'm going to strangle the next person who mispronounces the word "bill." It's one damn syllable, with one lone vowel. Sweet mother of God, what is so difficult about that? Why make it into a two or three syllable word? BEE-ULL.
The same goes for the word fish. The other night I was strolling through Wal-Mart when a woman announced over the intercom, "The associate in pets - a customer needs help by the FEESH tanks." BAHHHHHH! And, of course, in her thoroughness, she repeated the page twice, clearly saying FEESH both times. What do you want to bet this same person says CRICK instead of creek? WHAT IS SO BLOODY HARD ABOUT THE SHORT 'I' SOUND?!
Meanwhile, the nose of someone I have to see every day is really annoying me. There's nothing really peculiar about the nose -- it's not too big, not too small. You'd look at it and never notice it. But dear Lord, there's something about the way it turns up ever-so-slightly that irks the living hell out of me. I know there's nothing the person can do about it (nor should s/he necessarily); and I know it's purely evil to even allow such a think to bother me, but...but...my blood pressure is still rising...bahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
Earlier today, before lines of communication were lost, I confided in the Brooklyn Hillbilly about these irksome items. He said my thing with the nose reminded him of an Edgar Allen Poe story in which someone hacks up his neighbor because the neighbor's eye annoys him. Oh, this person with the nose is safe. I'm not going to launch into a homicidal rage -- mine's strictly an internal rage.
The Brooklyn Hillbilly reminded me of our teacher who talked frequently about "bony feesh," and he added that one of his college professors nearly drove him mad saying "twiced."
He proposed a contest to determine the "best English word corrupted by a hillbilly" and sent the following as his submissions:
var-us (virus)
tar (tire)
far (fire)
tar arn (tire iron)
quar-practer (chiroprator)
Bickley (Beckley)
Oak Heel (Oak Hill)
Par-keys-burg (Parkersburg)
Line (lion)
Line (lying)
*UPDATE*
Dawn sent her submission for the best mangling of an English word:
Hurkin (Hurricane)
Michelle adds:
MEE-ulk (Milk)
Follow-up posts on this subject
Wednesday, August 13, 2003
California has Arnold, and we have Icky
Finally, the announcement we've all been waiting for. Yes, Phil "Icky" Frye is still planning to run for governor, even though Wise is out of the race. Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of the story to find the Web sites where you can hear the various parodies about the gov. & Phil "Icky" Frye.
Finally, the announcement we've all been waiting for. Yes, Phil "Icky" Frye is still planning to run for governor, even though Wise is out of the race. Be sure to scroll down to the bottom of the story to find the Web sites where you can hear the various parodies about the gov. & Phil "Icky" Frye.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
Daily Mail: Travels remain popular - Lawmakers say taxpayer-funded trips are necessary
Perhaps a new Traveling While Rome Burns file is in order.
Of course, the big story out of Charleston, though certainly no surprise, was the governor's announcement that he would not seek re-election.
Perhaps a new Traveling While Rome Burns file is in order.
Of course, the big story out of Charleston, though certainly no surprise, was the governor's announcement that he would not seek re-election.
Monday, August 11, 2003
Hillbilly flash mobs?
Carolina sent me this article and suggested that I start flash mobbing in WV.
Besides the fact I'm obviously not a trendsetter, I know about 5 people in WV (my friends are in exile in other states), and I doubt I could convince any of them to participate in a flash mob.
But it's fun to think about, I suppose. A spontaneous picnic beside I-79 in Flatwoods. A crowd of people bowing to a squirrel on the Capitol lawn. A group of about 100 standing on Spruce Knob screaming "Can you hear me now?!" into their cell phones.
I can see myself and my little circle of friends really going for this back during college. It's the sort of thing that would have struck us as daring and fun (yet safe), and everyone around us would have been given more proof of our dorkiness.
Carolina sent me this article and suggested that I start flash mobbing in WV.
Besides the fact I'm obviously not a trendsetter, I know about 5 people in WV (my friends are in exile in other states), and I doubt I could convince any of them to participate in a flash mob.
But it's fun to think about, I suppose. A spontaneous picnic beside I-79 in Flatwoods. A crowd of people bowing to a squirrel on the Capitol lawn. A group of about 100 standing on Spruce Knob screaming "Can you hear me now?!" into their cell phones.
I can see myself and my little circle of friends really going for this back during college. It's the sort of thing that would have struck us as daring and fun (yet safe), and everyone around us would have been given more proof of our dorkiness.
Friday, August 08, 2003
Fun with PhotoShop gone bad
From the Huntington Herald-Dispatch -- "A grandparent of a special-needs student at Wayne Middle School says she would like to see the school’s yearbook recalled after seeing pictures of special-education teachers with distorted faces."
Now, I haven't seen the yearbook, of course, and if someone did it on purpose, then that's really rude and awful. However, I have seen some amateur users of desktop publishing and photo editing software royally distort photos by re-sizing them the wrong way and producing hideous results (e.g. people who appear 3 ft. tall and 5 ft. wide). The weirdest thing is, sometimes they don't even notice this obvious distortion. I don't know if they're just so happy to get the photo the right size or what. But anyway, my point is, I suppose I could see how it might have happened accidentally.
On the other hand, it IS remarkably suspicious that it happened with only one department's teachers, and that just happened to be the special education teachers.
From the Huntington Herald-Dispatch -- "A grandparent of a special-needs student at Wayne Middle School says she would like to see the school’s yearbook recalled after seeing pictures of special-education teachers with distorted faces."
Now, I haven't seen the yearbook, of course, and if someone did it on purpose, then that's really rude and awful. However, I have seen some amateur users of desktop publishing and photo editing software royally distort photos by re-sizing them the wrong way and producing hideous results (e.g. people who appear 3 ft. tall and 5 ft. wide). The weirdest thing is, sometimes they don't even notice this obvious distortion. I don't know if they're just so happy to get the photo the right size or what. But anyway, my point is, I suppose I could see how it might have happened accidentally.
On the other hand, it IS remarkably suspicious that it happened with only one department's teachers, and that just happened to be the special education teachers.
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Wise or no Wise?
Sure, the country is obsessed over who's running for governor in California and who's not, but here in WV we're having the same thing on a much smaller scale. People (at least reporters) are a buzz because a press release issued yesterday by the Republican party states Gov. Wise will not run for re-election. The Gov. is a Democrat, by the way. The staffers are giving lame statements like he'll announce when he wants to announce, blah blah, not that it's not true. I'm not really surprised. Sadly, I can't say that I much care. I'm so discouraged by politics and politicians.
Sure, the country is obsessed over who's running for governor in California and who's not, but here in WV we're having the same thing on a much smaller scale. People (at least reporters) are a buzz because a press release issued yesterday by the Republican party states Gov. Wise will not run for re-election. The Gov. is a Democrat, by the way. The staffers are giving lame statements like he'll announce when he wants to announce, blah blah, not that it's not true. I'm not really surprised. Sadly, I can't say that I much care. I'm so discouraged by politics and politicians.
Eye Irritation
I'm not the type of person who misses appointments. I do, occasionally, have to call and reschedule, though.
That happened once with this eye specialist I see periodically to make sure my eyes are OK. I called, rescheduled, no big deal. A couple of weeks after the original appointment was supposed to be, I got a letter, in all caps, telling me I'd missed my appointment and not only were they pissed off, but I was seriously endangering my vision, blah blah blah. I know they have patients for whom that would be the case, so I can understand that language, and even the all caps if that's supposed to help those with impaired vision. But what irritated me was, for one thing, it was their mistake, not mine, AND they'd copied my "regular" doctor.
I called the office and explained that I'd gotten the letter, that something must not have gotten changed in the computer. Oh, don't worry, they said, you have an appointment scheduled -- sorry for the error.
OK, fine - life goes on. I should add that my vision is perfectly normal. In fact, it's gotten better, for whatever reason. So, the next time I went to the regular doctor, I was a little puzzled by her stern tone. She went to great lengths to explain what could happen to one's eyes if they weren't checked. Finally, I saw she had my chart opened to the big "YOU MISSED YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH US -- YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR VISION AT RISK!" letter. She continued, citing the horrible things that could happen (such as becoming legally blind). I can't remember her exact wording -- and it was probably more the way I remembered it than what she actually said -- but something made me get really genuinely worried about waking up one morning and suddenly being blind (you know, like Mary in Little House on the Prairie).
I contemplated what on earth I would do if that happened. Is there computer software or something that would allow me to continue my job, or would I be out of work? How would I get around my own house? And if I'm on the verge of going legally blind, I should travel more and see what I've always wanted to see while I can still see it. That's the sort of thing that's been going through my mind for months.
Soooooooo, this year when I went to see the specialist I broke down and asked about this possibility, after months of worrying and dreaming up terrifying scenarios. He seemed slightly amused. "That's not going to happen over night," he said, and reassured me that my vision is FINE and if it were to change, it would do so very gradually.
Sigh. All because of that damn all-caps letter.
I'm not the type of person who misses appointments. I do, occasionally, have to call and reschedule, though.
That happened once with this eye specialist I see periodically to make sure my eyes are OK. I called, rescheduled, no big deal. A couple of weeks after the original appointment was supposed to be, I got a letter, in all caps, telling me I'd missed my appointment and not only were they pissed off, but I was seriously endangering my vision, blah blah blah. I know they have patients for whom that would be the case, so I can understand that language, and even the all caps if that's supposed to help those with impaired vision. But what irritated me was, for one thing, it was their mistake, not mine, AND they'd copied my "regular" doctor.
I called the office and explained that I'd gotten the letter, that something must not have gotten changed in the computer. Oh, don't worry, they said, you have an appointment scheduled -- sorry for the error.
OK, fine - life goes on. I should add that my vision is perfectly normal. In fact, it's gotten better, for whatever reason. So, the next time I went to the regular doctor, I was a little puzzled by her stern tone. She went to great lengths to explain what could happen to one's eyes if they weren't checked. Finally, I saw she had my chart opened to the big "YOU MISSED YOUR APPOINTMENT WITH US -- YOU ARE PUTTING YOUR VISION AT RISK!" letter. She continued, citing the horrible things that could happen (such as becoming legally blind). I can't remember her exact wording -- and it was probably more the way I remembered it than what she actually said -- but something made me get really genuinely worried about waking up one morning and suddenly being blind (you know, like Mary in Little House on the Prairie).
I contemplated what on earth I would do if that happened. Is there computer software or something that would allow me to continue my job, or would I be out of work? How would I get around my own house? And if I'm on the verge of going legally blind, I should travel more and see what I've always wanted to see while I can still see it. That's the sort of thing that's been going through my mind for months.
Soooooooo, this year when I went to see the specialist I broke down and asked about this possibility, after months of worrying and dreaming up terrifying scenarios. He seemed slightly amused. "That's not going to happen over night," he said, and reassured me that my vision is FINE and if it were to change, it would do so very gradually.
Sigh. All because of that damn all-caps letter.
Cash Crop
Um, make that $2.5 million worth of pot. As someone who struggles to keep up with two meager flower beds and a potted eggplant, I have to admire -- in some twisted way -- the gardening skills of this marijuana grower(s).
Um, make that $2.5 million worth of pot. As someone who struggles to keep up with two meager flower beds and a potted eggplant, I have to admire -- in some twisted way -- the gardening skills of this marijuana grower(s).
Tuesday, August 05, 2003
More great publicity for the state
Of course, the national media has picked up on this. Good grief - who would've thought there was this much cash floating around in vehicles in WV? I'm referring also to last week's story about the guy in Williamstown who had his trunk-load of cash stolen -- the thieves were caught, by the way. Perhaps the answer to the state's budget woes is to hire a band of hoodlums to go aroundbreaking into, er, "taxing" vehicles.
Of course, the national media has picked up on this. Good grief - who would've thought there was this much cash floating around in vehicles in WV? I'm referring also to last week's story about the guy in Williamstown who had his trunk-load of cash stolen -- the thieves were caught, by the way. Perhaps the answer to the state's budget woes is to hire a band of hoodlums to go around
Monday, August 04, 2003
Brace yourself for Hurricane Deshawn
This is one of the most ridiculous things ever. But since we're being ridiculous, I call for WV names to be represented as well. And at the top of the list would be "Drema" for Amy in VA who observes that the name Drema (or Dreama) seems to be a uniquely WV phenomenon.
Some other good names for future hillbilly hurricanes: Doy (a relative once said there was a whole nest of Doys over in the central part of the state where she worked); Anse (for you know who, the "Devil"), Dorcas, Cletus, Elodene, etc.
They could also branch out to WV placenames: Procious, Matewan, Pax, and, of course, BIG UGLY! "As we speak, Big Ugly is headed toward the South Carolina coast...Residents are bracing for the damaging winds and storm surge caused by Big Ugly."
Naturally, the Appalachian hurricane would have a first and middle name, but would be known by another name entirely. For example, the hurricane's legal name would be Doy Anse, but it would be called "Billy" because its father and grandfather were also named Doy Anse and are known as Doy and Anse, respectively.
This is one of the most ridiculous things ever. But since we're being ridiculous, I call for WV names to be represented as well. And at the top of the list would be "Drema" for Amy in VA who observes that the name Drema (or Dreama) seems to be a uniquely WV phenomenon.
Some other good names for future hillbilly hurricanes: Doy (a relative once said there was a whole nest of Doys over in the central part of the state where she worked); Anse (for you know who, the "Devil"), Dorcas, Cletus, Elodene, etc.
They could also branch out to WV placenames: Procious, Matewan, Pax, and, of course, BIG UGLY! "As we speak, Big Ugly is headed toward the South Carolina coast...Residents are bracing for the damaging winds and storm surge caused by Big Ugly."
Naturally, the Appalachian hurricane would have a first and middle name, but would be known by another name entirely. For example, the hurricane's legal name would be Doy Anse, but it would be called "Billy" because its father and grandfather were also named Doy Anse and are known as Doy and Anse, respectively.
Friday, August 01, 2003
Bob Kelly identifies the state's greatest all-time fruitcake
This is a must-read column in today's Daily Mail -- columnist Bob Kelly writes about someone he terms a "hall-of-fame fruitcake." Read the whole thing, but I'll give you hint -- in the third-from-last paragraph the words "indigenous white trash" appear, and they were spoken by the hall-of-famer not too long ago at a big media hullabaloo. The thought of the incident raises my blood pressure a little -- but then I have to give the fruitcake credit: "indigenous white trash" does sort of have a nice ring to it, if you go by how the words sound and forget the meaning.
This is a must-read column in today's Daily Mail -- columnist Bob Kelly writes about someone he terms a "hall-of-fame fruitcake." Read the whole thing, but I'll give you hint -- in the third-from-last paragraph the words "indigenous white trash" appear, and they were spoken by the hall-of-famer not too long ago at a big media hullabaloo. The thought of the incident raises my blood pressure a little -- but then I have to give the fruitcake credit: "indigenous white trash" does sort of have a nice ring to it, if you go by how the words sound and forget the meaning.
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